By Lily Albone, a current MSc Psychological Well-being and Mental Health NTU Student & Consent is Everything Facilitator
Content Warning: This blog post discusses sexual violence, rape and victim blaming which can be harmful and upsetting to anyone who has experienced this.
In Sexual Violence and Awareness Week, I’m pouring my heart into these words with a simple wish—to let someone out there know they’re not alone. The stats hit hard: 1 in 4 women, about 6.54 million, face the pain of sexual assault as adults. It’s not just a number; it’s the silent struggles of friends, family, and neighbours that echo in our lives.
Before I became a Consent is Everything facilitator I thought ‘Hey, everybody knows what consent is right?’ Until I experienced sexual violence myself. These workshops go beyond simplifying and explaining what consent is. They serve as a guide, teaching us how to support friends who have experienced sexual violence and offering survivors a roadmap to find the help and support they need.
Having laid out the shocking stats about women facing sexual assault, here’s an even more shocking truth: 5 out of 6 women who go through rape don’t speak up, and the same goes for men. Why? It’s not just one reason, but a mix of feeling embarrassed, thinking the police won’t be much help, and the dread of public humiliation.
Sharing my own experience of reporting sexual assault has given me a view that’s hard to shake. The truth is, I thought I’d never report again because of how poorly my case was handled. Maybe you’ve heard someone say, “Why not just report it?” or asked, “Why did you wait so long?” I got those questions from friends and family too. Taking that step to report was tough, but the way the police treated me impacted me more than the actual event. It’s a pain I can’t shake off.
Throughout that challenging time, the police provided no support. Though I opted not to press charges, the perpetrator received a generic letter informing them that the case was dropped due to insufficient evidence. This made me feel as though I was not assaulted at all. The weight of disappointment hit hard upon hearing this news, yet I stand before you today to affirm that it does get better, and justice is within reach. Importantly, let my experience underscore that this shouldn’t deter you from reporting sexual violence. Despite the hurdles, your voice matters, and your pursuit of justice is valid and crucial.
I used to associate justice with the realms of prosecution and law enforcement. However, through my experience I realised this wasn’t accessible to me, I’ve discovered a profound sense of justice within myself and through helping others. I have come to understand, and you can too, that justice is more than the confines of the police and legal systems.
I refuse to allow one negative experience to derail my pursuit of justice. Whether you choose to report your assault or not, remember it’s entirely your decision, and don’t let anyone dictate otherwise. We all deserve justice, and I eagerly hope that one day, the path to it will be more accessible for all. I want you to know not to blame yourself, no matter what anyone says. The clothes you wore, the substances you may have consumed—none of it matters. It’s okay if you froze, unable to utter a scream of “no.” Your story is valid, and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.
My purpose in sharing these words today is simple: I want you to know that you’re not alone. Whether you’ve faced sexual violence or not, reported a crime or not, there are many, including myself, who stand firmly beside you. If you’ve been a pillar of support for others grappling with the aftermath of sexual violence, we express our gratitude. If you’ve personally faced the pain of such an experience, we stand with pride by your side. And for those who actively strive to support and educate about sexual violence, our support is unwavering.
For help, advice and resources whilst studying at NTU, take a look at the following for sources of support.
For help and advice, our Sexual Violence Support Service can provide guidance to any student who has experienced harm
Support from NTU
Self-Care books in NTU’s libraries
Silvercloud: SilverCloud is our online system designed to help with a range of mental health issues.
Health and Wellbeing resources
NTSU Information and Advice service
Wellness in Mind: Advice and support for anyone in Nottingham experiencing issues with their mental wellbeing
Student Minds or Student Space
10 Keys to happiness
Mind
Papyrus
CAL
Healthy NTU 