Healthy NTU

How are you, really? (This is you sign to talk about it)

Olista Naurallegra – 3^rd year BSc (H) Psychology
No matter how often we talk to ourselves inside our heads, those thoughts won’t find a way out, so they pile up. And then, getting them out can be the most difficult task, even though sometimes what we all need is just to… talk about it. 

“Cold water doesn’t get warmer if you jump late.” Those thoughts aren’t going to sort themselves out inside your head.

Talk. We don’t talk about it often. But have you ever felt so relieved just by talking? Just by being heard? just by finally choosing the right words to describe your feelings? That relief after finally getting those thoughts out and making sense of it—suddenly the world is not as ominous as we thought. The threads of thoughts that were previously tangled somehow unravel themselves, creating a clearer headspace. Starting a conversation about your mental well-being can be the scariest part of the whole thing; the judgements, the fear to be seen, etc. But having difficult conversations can make you feel so relieved after. I promise you no one will be upset with the thoughts of being heard and being seen. Whether you want to talk things out or want to check in on your friends, starting a conversation about mental health is about creating a safe space, allowing you and your friends to pour out your thoughts and feelings.

In starting, you don’t need to be an expert, any of you. All you need is to be: a listener, and to be there, to be present. Once one knows they’re given the space and time to talk, they will be more likely to open up. Asking someone how they are feeling is a good start, relax and let it flow. Share how you’ve been feeling, what are the ups you experienced for the last week? How did it make you feel? Isn’t it nice to share with people the achievements you’ve had, whether it’s a small one or a grand one—anything you did last week that made you happy, well done. What about the downs? Are there any? How did you manage through them? You did really well for surviving through them. From there, usually, the conversation flows, and there you go, now you know how to start a conversation around mental health. 

Active listening seems small, but we often leave it out. To be heard and to be seen, oh what a blessing! Who doesn’t want it, right? So, let them know. Let yourself know too. Be empathetic, understand and remember that mental health problems are more common than what people think so you’re not alone—reassurance. Avoid comments, “Maybe you’re just having a bad day” or “I think you were not thinking right at that time” Just, don’t. Better to stay silent rather than to say those things. It’s not helpful, and you will more likely leave that person feeling invalidated. It’s not nice to feel that way, right? Yeah. 

Other than talking about all the events that have been going on, why not talk about things that have helped you personally in keeping your mental well-being? Share some of them with your friends over tea or cake. Keep in mind that some might work for others but not  for you, and vice versa! Encourage positive things, and get that positive encouragement for character development! Yeah! We all love some little support and encouragement, don’t we? Share your personal experience if you think that it might be helpful for others; the journey you have made can be a guide for others. So, why not share? It’s also important to know your boundaries in sharing these things and be comfortable with things you want to share with others too. 

I’ve had that first encounter with starting a conversation around mental health and it scared me, I did not want to be seen as a weak person. But little did I know, talking about what I feel, about what has happened to me builds courage, confidence, and trust. Most importantly, it brings peace, which untangles all these thoughts in my mind. When I first had this kind of conversation, I didn’t realise how relieving it can be, and I found myself wanting more of it. My friends and I found a fun and beneficial way to do this, which we called ‘Check-in Talks’ once every several weeks. We would set the light dim, have some of our favourite snacks and drinks, and play slow music—all to build the mood! And then we’d take out our ‘We’re Not Really Strangers’ cards. Just to let you know, we’re all crying by the 10th card, and it was a needed crying session alongside with warm hugs and back rubs at the end. If we need this kinda night and we forget to bring the card, there’s this app called ‘Let’s Get Closer’ on the App Store that serves almost the same purpose. So maybe you can try it out, and take some burden off your shoulder.

So, Talk.  

For help, advice and resources whilst studying at NTU, take a look at the following for sources of support.
Support from NTU
Self-Care books in NTU’s libraries
Silvercloud: SilverCloud is our online system designed to help with a range of mental health issues.
Health and Wellbeing resources
NTSU Information and Advice service
Wellness in Mind: Advice and support for anyone in Nottingham experiencing issues with their mental wellbeing
Student Minds or Student Space
10 Keys to happiness
Mind
Papyrus
CALM