By Diana Lysyuk, BA (Hons) Business Management & Marketing, Year 3, Nottingham Business School
Let me tell you about the first time someone in England asked me “You alright?”
I stopped. I thought about it properly. I started to answer honestly. By then, the person was already three metres away, having asked it as a greeting rather than a question.
That, I learned, is the first lesson of being an international student: sometimes the simplest question in the world is the hardest one to answer, and nobody is waiting for the reply.
I want to talk about the version of that question that matters: are you actually alright?
The dream, and the plot twist
I’m from Ukraine, and I have wanted to study abroad for as long as I can remember. This was never a backup plan or a “let’s see how it goes.” It was the plan. So when I arrived in the UK, I was happy in the loudest, most unapologetic way. New country, new language of daily life, new version of me. No breakdown, no dramatic homesick moment in the first week. I was living the dream I had been drawing in my head for years.
And that is exactly why nobody tells you the next part: you can be genuinely, completely happy and still be struggling.
Because while I was building my new life here, life back home was not standing still. A lot was happening, and a lot still is. I carry two worlds at once: the one I’m building in Nottingham, and the one I love and worry about from far away. Some days they sit together peacefully. Other days one of them is much louder than the other.
Nobody warned me that happiness and heaviness can share the same Tuesday.
It doesn’t look the same for everyone
Here’s what I’ve noticed from talking to other international students: there is no single story.
Some students feel homesick almost immediately. They miss the food, the sound of their own language, their mum’s voice at the kitchen table. Some feel it months later, out of nowhere, when a song plays in a shop or a holiday arrives and the people who usually fill it are a flight away. And then there are students like me, who wanted this so badly that they feel guilty admitting it’s ever hard.
That guilt is real. When you’ve worked for something, dreamed about it, maybe even made sacrifices for it, saying “I’m struggling” can feel like ingratitude. As if the universe handed you a gift and you complained about the wrapping.
But gratitude and struggle are not opposites. You are allowed to be both. In fact, most of us are.
The invisible extras
Being an international student comes with a hidden list of extra tasks nobody puts in the prospectus:
- Translating your thoughts into a second (or third) language, all day, every day
- Learning the unwritten rules, from small talk to the weather as a national hobby
- Missing birthdays, holidays and ordinary Sundays
- Celebrating New Year without the people and traditions that make it feel like New Year
- Managing time zones just to have a ten-minute call with family
- Doing all of it while studying, working and trying to have a life
That is a lot to carry quietly. It is no wonder that some days we’re tired in a way that sleep doesn’t fix.
What has actually helped me
I’m not a therapist, and I won’t pretend to have a perfect formula. But here’s what has genuinely made my days lighter:
Build a small home, not a perfect one. Cook the food that tastes like your childhood. Put up the photo. Play the music. A tiny piece of home in a student room goes a long way.
Say it out loud to one person. Not everyone. Just one. A friend, a flatmate, a HealthyNTU Champion, a counsellor. The moment you say “this is harder than I thought,” it stops being a secret you’re guarding and becomes something you’re sharing.
Get involved. Joining things at NTU, from ambassador work to content projects to events, gave me something I didn’t expect: people. Real ones. Belonging doesn’t arrive by itself; sometimes you have to walk toward it, awkwardly, in a hoodie, ten minutes early.
Let it be both. Proud and tired. Excited and homesick. Brave and scared. I stopped trying to pick one feeling and started letting them all in.
Use the support that’s there. Universities have wellbeing teams, advisers and communities for exactly this. Asking for help is not a weakness. It’s the most strategic move you can make, and I say that as a business student.
To the person reading this at 2am
If you’re an international student and something feels heavy right now, I want you to know three things.
One: you are not behind. There is no schedule for how fast you should “settle in.”
Two: you are not alone, even if everyone around you seems to be doing brilliantly. Many of them are quietly carrying their own suitcase of feelings too.
Three: being far from home does not mean you’ve left it. You carry it with you, in your language, your stories, your stubbornness, your strength. It is the reason you can do something as bold as building a life in another country at all.
So, are you alright?
Next time someone here asks “You alright?”, you have my full permission to say “yeah, you?” and keep walking. That’s the national ritual, and you’ve earned your place in it.
But when someone you trust asks it, slowly, and actually waits for the answer, tell them the truth. Even if the truth is “I’m happy, I’m homesick, and I’m a bit overwhelmed, all before lunch.”
That’s not failing at being an international student. That’s simply being one.
And honestly? You’re doing better than you think.
For help, advice and resources whilst studying at NTU, take a look at the following for sources of support.
Support from NTU
HealthyNTU: Advice, tools and activities for your wellbeing
NTSU Information and Advice service
Nottinghamshire Talking Therapies: Support for your Mental Health in Nottingham