My experience with anxiety at university

Posted on by healthyntu8

By Victoria Smith a BSc Wildlife Conservation NTU Alumni
Going to university was initially daunting for me and made me very anxious, with General Anxiety Disorder and Epilepsy and being a mature student, I didn’t know really what to expect. Combined my disabilities made it difficult to concentrate, recall, retain and process information and take on new challenges and environments, so I thought I would give university a try as I wasn’t thriving in my current career path and if I simply got a 2:2 overall that would be achievement enough for me.

I was made aware at an open day that I could get support for my disabilities, which I didn’t think I was entitled to as I never saw myself as disabled or that I deserved that extra help. But little did I know at the time how crucial it was to my success at university. I was given an access statement that allowed me extensions on assignments, extra time in exams and rest breaks and my mental health mentor Ben, who supported me and had my back throughout my three years at NTU. I honestly don’t think I would have made it without his support. He believed in me at times when I didn’t and helped me stay focused and communicate with my lecturers when I needed extra support. I am so grateful for his support and would 100% recommend seeking DSA support if you can.  

My first year was messy due to COVID-19 and a shoulder injury, I couldn’t make any solid friendships so that was isolating. However, it gave me time to think and practice the best strategies for revision, note taking and time keeping which helped me get the work done in a way that fit in with my disabilities. It helped me understand that I don’t work the same way that everyone else does and that’s okay, it doesn’t matter if other people were working quicker than me or remembered more than I did because I had developed the tools I needed to help me succeed in my way and I finished my first year with a first which I was so surprised at. I recommend booking in with the library to help you find the study methods that work best for you.

My second and third years had the most impact on me, I had to face new challenges of going on field trips, and coming away from my comfort zone, which caused me a lot of anxiety.  I learnt to lean on my friends and staff members instead of suffering in silence which helped me enjoy my trips and made me realise that I can do the things that scared me which improved my confidence and self-esteem. I found the second and third years more anxiety provoking as these contributed to my final grade so, I felt an increase in pressure to do well and as I got first in my first year, I felt pressure to consistently get firsts all the time. I quickly found perfectionism leads to burnout and how important it is to have tools in place to help me in these difficult situations, so I could look after myself properly under pressure. A short CBT course I took with the NHS over the summer helped me with this. I performed better by being kind to myself rather than criticising myself and bullying myself to get work done. It is okay to prioritise your mental health, seek support, take a break, do easier tasks, take a half day, break tasks up into small chunks and plan room for bad days just in case they happen, this helped me succeed. I had to accept that in some subjects I was just better than others, I did get 2:1s and a 2:2 and I learnt to become okay with that and reminded myself of my original goal of a 2:2 and that I always try my best in that moment. Keeping a journal helped so I wouldn’t forget how I felt in those moments and use it as evidence against my anxious thoughts when I was criticising myself for my results. However, despite my struggles, I still graduated with an overall first, which I was so pleased with and therefore I proved to myself that I didn’t need to be perfect to succeed.

For help, advice and resources whilst studying at NTU, take a look at the following for sources of support.

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